Fragile
by Ayalli
Summary: Life is fragile, Suzaku realizes, and he is incapable of doing anything to stop it from shattering.


**AN:** God, I love Suzaku. He's my favorite male character in anime, ever, and my favorite Code Geass character. He's so awesome. 83

Anyway, this was written because... I just suddenly gained the inspiration for it and wanted to try my hand at a Code Geass fanfiction. (First time! Exciting!) It was suppose to be just about Zero Requiem, but it turned out to have its own plans and Suzaku's father and Euphemia are both in here as well.

Also, I know that Suzaku stabbed his father. I just felt like... shooting would make a bigger impact...? Uh, yeah. Sorry.

**Warnings:** Spoilers for the whole series. No pairings. (I wasn't even going for any implications, really.) Angst.

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Code Geass, R2 would not suck, Lelouch wouldn't be such an ass (and if he had been, he would've died sooner), and Suzaku would be the main character. There would also be more character development because I love character development.

* * *

Suzaku first realizes how fragile life is when he shoots his father.

His father had been a great man, Suzaku admits, but he had called for war against Britannia, and more war means more fighting, and more fighting means that more people will die. Suzaku had wanted peace, and he had believed that peace would've come in accepting Britannian rule. But, of course, the fighting would not stop, not with the political leaders of Japan calling for more battles, more death.

And, his father was the first and foremost political leader of Japan.

The war would not stop until his father died.

So, Suzaku pulls the trigger.

Blood splatters on the floor, on the walls, on his clothes, and Kururugi Genbu is dead in an instant. His father who had been so strong, who had never backed down in front of anything, had been easily killed with just a single, little gunshot, a bullet through the chest.

Suzaku does not know if he cried for the loss of a father or for the loss of the belief of the strength that his father had.

* * *

The second time Suzaku realizes is when Euphemia dies.

Her dress was stained with red blood. Japanese blood. Her blood.

And, she had smiled at him, as if she had not just murdered hundreds—millions—of Japanese in cold blood, as if she had not just done the single act that had surely destroyed all hopes of trust between Japan and Britannia.

Even now, Suzaku is not sure why she did it. All he can think is that it is Zero's fault. Zero's. Not Euphemia's. Never Euphie's.

Suzaku could never doubt Euphie, not now, not then, not ever.

Back then, she had taken his hand and, still smiling, had said, "It's okay, Suzaku, don't cry. Everything will be better from now on because the Japanese have the special area. Everything will be all righ—"

And, she had died like that, smiling and happy, still with the belief that she had helped Japan, had helped Suzaku.

Suzaku does not know if he cried for the loss of a dear friend or for the hatred that had threatened to consume him right then and there.

* * *

The third time Suzaku is nearly numb to it, to the feeling of helplessness, to the feeling of despair.

Yet again, it is himself who performs the action, who ends another fragile life. It is himself that picks up the sword and runs it through his best friend. It is himself that stains his hands and proclaims himself as justice, as that hyprocritcal icon hiding behind a mask, as Zero.

Suzaku, with his own hands, kills Lelouch, whom he had loved and hated the most.

And, at that single moment when time stops and intersects, when the point of the sword pierces through Lelouch's chest, all Suzaku can feel is an overwhelming hatred, a deeply rooted disgust.

He cannot stop hating Lelouch.

He cannot stop hating himself.

Suzaku does not think he can ever forgive Lelouch for the sins that Zero has committed in the name of Justice for the sake of Nunally. Suzaku does not think he can ever forgive himself, for the sins that the Knight of Zero has committed in the name of Japan for the sake of Euphemia.

He will not forgive.

Even if everyone else in the world forgives, he will not.

Suzaku cries for all those sacrificed, all those Lelouch had killed, all those _he_ had killed. Suzaku cries for all those who had lost their lives because of a twisted hero and a broken knight.

Lelouch's punishment is hatred and death.

Suzaku's punishment is love and life.


End file.
